I don't know what to do now.. I'm totally lose.. Why? Why you don't want to tell me? At least tell me how you feel pls..? I got no safetyness with your feelings cause I don't know what are you thinking I don't know how you feel cause you never tell.. I sacred I lose feeling on you or give up cause waited too long, too tired i sacred after when you admit I ady change.. Pls.. don't let me to be like this can? I can't take it anymore.. I really feel like letting my self drown during Kapas camp.. but I know you won't like it.. When I heard that Mei Wan get bitten by -centipit- I was hoping that it was me who is the one who kena.. when she also kena from the -sea rambutans- i also wish it was me...
I want to let me tears drop.. I don't want to tahan cause I know if I keep tahaning it one day when I fall I sacred I can't control.. and my piano trial exam is this sunday i sacred on the spot i can't play then tears will drop that time I will just cry everything out I bet it will be a long cry.. I don't want it to happen cause when I'm taking grade 4 trial, I fight with my best friend on hp in the trial room i felt so sorry so sad then suddently it's my turn.. I can't play then i ended up crying.. everyone was looking at me.. teachers thought that i cried cause I can't play but.. thats not true... This time I don't it to be like this.. Pls.. let my tears drop before this sunday or just tell me something which is true from you.. I don't want to fall.. cause when I fall I will think of someone who leaved me behind...
I learn something from this taiwan drama show.. sometimes if you love or like one person doesn't mean that you must have him/her by your side all the time nor be with him/her.. just let it be natural like how close your'll are last time..
I'm tired.. tired of being the one who always do the first move.. I say to my self before let ppl to come to you don't push your self to him/her.. but i can't help it cause.. it's like if one day didn't get to talk to you i'll feel.. weird.. moody.. I also don't want to let you control my mood.. I tried my best to be happy when you are not in.. but.. I just can't help it.. Kor has gone to out station.. I don't think he came back ady.. even if he came back i still can't really link back to him... At last I found someone who I can talk to.. secrets.. = ) I think if with out him I really can.. kaa---booomm.. thank you = ) I hope either just let it go on like this or... I also don't know what to do... haihz
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