DAMN this s***!!! Look limao I dont care on what you say anymore or who you hang out with okay!

you betrared me didnt you know?!
genting roomate?!
hanging out time?!
basketball?!
even bicycle?!
WHY THE F*** AM I BLASSING INTO TEARS NOW??!!!
LOOK!!! B****
GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

I <3 this song

She calls me baby, then she won't call me.
Says she adores me and then ignores me.
Jenny, what's the problem?She keeps her distance and sits on fences.
Puts up resistance and builds defenses.Jenny, what's the problem?
You leave me hanging on the line.Every time you change your mind.
First You say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
I"m standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny, it's killing me.She needs her own space.
She's playing mind games.Ends up at my place saying that she's changed.
Jenny, what's the problem?I'm trying to read between the lines.
You got me going out of my mind.
First, you say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
I'm standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny, it's killing me. It's killing me. It's killing me.
Jenny.First, you say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and I'm not moving on.
I'm standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny.First, you say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
I'm standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny. It's killing me. It's killing me. Jenny.

yesterday was great!!!! went Puay Chai met Zheng Rong then we sat tat the sing zhen lou then and chit chat everyone that know me though his my bf though XD can la not bad but his just short only ma.. XD
While we talk have fun walk up and down everything.. hahaha chat about sensitive questions too! like do i have bfs how many exs etc etc.. XD haha while lunch time audrey, him and I went to our old class.. then after that he went to look for FOOD!! im hungry toobut wanted to go Ou and eat..
Then I didnt look for food straigh went to take a cab i stoped i cab once but he doesn't wanna fetch so i continue to stop the others.. well.. when waiting Melinda and another girl from her class came and asked weather wanna take the same cab anot so i say okay la.. then audrey called Zheng Rong to come with us so we waited for teksi around 20minutes? and we still can't stop one!!!! =.=
ok fine then Zheng Rong called for a cab but half way while waiting for that recepsionist to continue her work i found a teksi behind us and THANKS TO ME we got that teksi but BLOODY HELL him cost us RM10 buckc to go Ou while its quite o-k-a-y cause there is 4 of us including me so RM2.50 each XD
in the cab i didnt talk to Melinda cause uh-duh who wanna talk to her la she so bossy =.= f*** ass

It's always like this~

I have always try to be someone's friend..

In my life since young i've tried to be tolerance to everyone around me..
Since young..I have always try not to let my cousin (one and only which i freaking close to her) not to feel left out by anyone.. specially me..i have always try to share with her my things my though my secret.. =.=ok thats it im feeling like a jerk now Its okay continueing to give out.. there is no harm though.. its ok..... (i think)

My blog and I

Now my blog is closed only to me and Sean.
I don't believe on my friends anymore not most of them but some of them, unfortunatly they're those are close to me before.
For and forever, I will live alone not a loner but just alone sometimes.
I won't regret from what am I doing now, I will just go on my life doing things which need to be done before.
Wishing for a close and trustful friend to come aboard me, waiting for the right person to come to me...

i'm always speechless when it comes to blogging

I've LOTS of things to tell to express it out from the inner me.. there is no place for me to dump everything out. so.. i choose blogging but!! it's always.. ALWAYS come speechless hmmph mcb.. how nice if i have a laptop 24/7 can be used.. then my every feeling can be express out.. instate of leaving in side of me.. where making me more worse.. argh

Gotta Go My Own Way

I gotta say what's in my mind

Something about us

doesn't seem right these days

life keeps getting in the way

Whenever we try, somehow the plan

is always rearranged

It's so hard to say

But I've gotta do what's best for me

You'll be ok..I've go to move on and be who I am

I just don't belong here

I hope you understand

We might find our place in this world someday

But at least for now

I gotta go my own away

Don't wanna leave it all behind

But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall everytime

Another colour turns to grey and it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away

I'm leaving today 'cause I've gotta do what's best for me you'll be ok..

I've got to move on and be who I am I just don't belong here

I hope you understand

We might find our place in this world someday

But at least for now I gotta go my own away

back to the past

well i don't wanna go back to the past but everytime i saw him i will feel regret and want to get back with him but i sacred that my feelings now is b-l-u-r >.< err.. i'm trying to give up.. Kian argh!! i already say it like last few months but no action is taken.. but this time i am taking action..! it has been 41 hours 7 minutes and a few second (and still counting) i haved S-T-O-P talking to him XD i have make a record! =.='' thats all for now.. hmm lol look she is still playing.. nvm i didn't say wanna ciaoz also.. hmm.. how long more ar?

there goes again.. and AGAIN

yeah!! i bet with you we are going to fight again for no sick mrong but one word JEALOSY chi bai kia hmmph want to go pasar malam liao >.<

I don't want to know

You and I are.. fools

I don't know when it all started
When my head became dizzy with thoughts of you
These thoughts would often pop up in my mind
I feel anxious as my heart expands towards you
It's nothing.. it's just a little thing
Your words are awkward to me
Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning?
My heart keeps saying it loves you
It screams out for the whole world to hear
Why has it taken so long for me to hear it~?
We've finally met.. finally found love
If I wanted to show you how I feel
The only way would be for you to become me
I'm already inside of you
Just like you're inside of me
To each other We may already be too accustomed
we've finally met.. finally found love
When I think about it realize how many moments there were when my heart trembled
I'll try as harder as I was late in realizing my feelings
I'll be with you, I'll only give you fond memories
Please don't ever leave me again
Even the shortest moments without you make me uneasy
Please stay by me~
I already love you so much - you're the only one

I never.. had a dream come true

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be '
Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
You'll always be the one I know
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye No no no no
A part of me will always be with you...

You Took My Heart

Staring at the moon so blue
Turning all my thoughts to you
I was without hope or dream
Try to dull an inner scream
But you . . .saw me through . .
Walking on a path of air
See your faces everywhere
As you melt this heart of stone
You take my hand to guide me home and now I'm in love
You took my heart away
When my whole world was grey
You gave me everything and a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life . .
Living in a world so cold
You were there to warm my soul
You came to mend a broken heart
You gave my life a brand new startAnd now .. . I 'm in love
Holding your hands
I won't fear tomorrow
Here where we stand
We never be alone
You become the meaning of my life . . .

A secret I can't tell

As the cold coffe leaves the coaster
I desperately tried to hold my emotions far behind
Fighting hard to restore the past
On my face you can still see ever so clearly
That rainy day wasn't the most beautiful
It's the shelters that I once shared with you in the rain
The pictures in my memory
While on the swings dreams become less sweet
You told me that by gradually letting go
I'd be able to go further
and why botter changing the times that you've missed
You used your fingertip to stop me from saying goodbye
Imaging you being by my side before you completely disappear
You told me that by gradually letting go I'd be able to go further
Perhaps life's destiny only allowed us to meet
and Only allowed us to love this one season of fall
Only after the pieces drifted that I realized these are the pieces of happiness
How do i pick them up

even flowers have bloomed nicely

If we did not meet so many turnings,
how could I reach your side
Now when I look back, every step was confusing,
I realised there were directions hidden behind
I once thought that I could no longer bear the weight of another drop of tear
Today I finally knew that even tears could produce fragrance
No longer need to look for faith on other people
Falling in love with you,
I learnt if there is flower in the heart, then it will bloom in full
Colour have turned bright, fragrance could be smelled, even the flowers have bloomed well
You are mine, I now have love, my world is now complete
Stick tightly to the heart, holding hands tightly, no more regret
I am very happy, I am very happy, the flowers have bloome

donkey-fish-head

todat alot of ppl ffk me..but now my turn to ffk my brother kekx.. don't want to go alone la.. sorry lo.. XP i think.. it's no use by saying i don't want to msg him or want to leave him ady cause.. i.. can't.. really.. err.. don't.. have him..? don't care la aiyo.. now ne.. sunn qi zi ran.. not going to think somemore stupid stuff ady.. xp argh...

dumb ass

OKAY!!! i have more than enough!!! thats it!!!!!!!!!! chi bai!!!!!!

o.0 i didnt sleep

wow it's 5:30am and i'm stil awake.. xp online and watch tv.. it's just so fun to not have a irritating aunty at home in this time you know.. >.< aiyo i stil got laporan to do ne.. do unitl half way only can't even think in using malay leh.. xp aiyoyo die lo have to give Pn. Faridah tmr some more still.. shit man.. i didn't sleep then tmr how to continue my plans?! =.= i think can't go anywhere after school ady lo.. haihz aiyo diu lo.. gotto go bath ady but last paragraf haven finish shit man.. it's 6:10am.. im going to be late again.. can i not go to schol today?????? T.T

I cried tonight

its always when i try to be the girl that you always wanted.. but when i found that I'm lose you didn't even care.. for a long time that I've liking you but you didn't give a hint.. for now i know that the love is from both side but.. it's ady too late.. when i notice that you're actually staying right by my side whenever i needed you.. for every time you look at me.. i know you're trying to comfort me.. but my heart it seem just so empty.. you say you there's a period of time you liked me.. but everything seem to be so fake.. you tried so hard but it's just no use.. baby now and forever until the time is here.. until the time is here.. I'll be there for you.. give me the love that i always want.. maybe one day you will understand.. oh baby now and forever until the time is here

after you're gone.. my heart is filled with snow, air, frozen ice.. no idea since when you came into my heart.. breaking all the icy wall.. unfreeze all the frozen ice.. and you light up a warm fire in my heart.. now.. the fire in my heart.. it won't keep on flaming that powerful anymore.. you make me understand every problem i face there is always a way to solve.. from the phrase you say.. from that time onwards everything, every person i face.. i face with bravery..

appreciate people, things and the time you have now with anyone now.. before it's too late


another emo post

Words i want to say..

Starting to miss you liao la.. today is just the 4th day still got at least another 10 days leh.. =[

I'm happy that you're happy... kor

Get well soon!! kor kor

Clear your mind and everything is fine.. =]

I love you, I like me.. we are happy family.. =] keep on the good work

lala mui...... >.< jk jk.. study la don't take too much care on your hair xp


*every paragraf is to different people.. can you differenciate? ha.. ha.. ha..*

kor kor...

I just remembered that.. we memang is 'brother' and 'sister' already one.. just that afetr time pass long this reputation will slowly be forgotten by us.. we talked so closely until i have forget that you're my brother.. well from now on.. I'll treat you as my brother..

sat luin

i found out what you and Jul talked about.. you say that you like me but cause of our'll attitude you guess that we can't stay long so why start.. yes it's true on my point of view i think that my attitude memang got problem de.. but just to be your 'sister' only very lonely yet near.. now i don't know what to do.. Sean have a friend this 'friend' message me this few days using Sean's number.. well he is not bad but i don't want to put a reputation as 'good' on this guy 1st.. cause i've a feeling that he is just trying to flirt with me.. =.= anyways you say you though before that asking me to be your girl friend but you just can't.. -.- nvm.. yesterday i can't really face you after knowing what you and Jul was talking about.. so ya la what's the point right.. uh.. damn him sohai-ly anonying la! diu.. Andrew ar! you friend damn sick la!! sh!!! masterbate, oral sex somemore.......... si bian tai!!! chi bai.. ask somemore ah la, i don't give face then he know.. so hai.. well.. back to topic.. deng i didn't tell you what is happening now cause i know you don't like it.. fishy fishy fishy =.= syok sendiri.. xp
okay okay.. erm.. alot of thing just now i type d one then when publish it delete it self wtf!!!! =.= now.. i'll try to treat you as my brother since you say you enjoy being single now xp nvm i don't want to force each other to be together also.. some of my friends that know the things happen between me and you say that you memang got feelings towards me liao de.. but i told them i won't believe what they say if only you tell me your self then i'll believe.. aiyo but now i really feel like crying le.. yesterday while playing basketball with my whole mind is thinking bout you.. i can't control my self le.. >.<>

2nd vers

I wait quietly behind you
Really want to see your accidental smile Maybe you do not understand my heart But I will try my hardest to touch your heart I'm the clumsy one in your eyes I will not give up following you I just need you to give me some response I will accept a smile or a nod Can I come a little closer Don't shut yourself in your own world anymore The warm sun welcomes you Can I come a little closer Can I become braver a little bit Even if I know that it will always be a one-sided love affair I will still keep my gratitude Smiling to you and saying goodbye.

懂得讓我微笑的人 再沒有誰比你有天份 輕易闖進我的心門 明天的美夢你完成 整個宇宙 浩瀚無邊的盡頭 每顆渺小星球 全都繞著你走愛我 非你莫屬 我只願守護 由你給我的幸福 愛我 非你莫屬 也許會笑著哭 但那人是你所以 不怕苦懂得 讓我流淚的人 給的感動一定是最深 在我心中留下傷痕 你同時點亮了星辰 那麼多相遇偏偏只和你 天造地設般產生奇蹟哦 我心的縫隙我想除了你 任誰也無法填補這空虛

beh tahan gotta use foul words ady..too angry

okay.. today just sux to the max..
aiyo i shouldn't have ask him la.. got a answer i didn't really wanted.. >.< oh gosh.. so sad.. don't know how to say.. t** lo.. nvm la.. i think things is just going to be fine.. i'll just treat him as my brother that's all..

Bye Kian..

Killa xp

绝对的完美一双手pair of perfect hands,不流汗也不发抖Neither sweating nor trembling.交叉在微笑的背后-crossed behind a gentle smile,暗藏危险的轮廓 a hidden, dangerous personna.在你最放松的时候When you are most relaxed,绝不带着任何感情would, without any feelings,就下手从来不回头Do the deed, never looking back.开始的感觉 In the beginning, you will feel,不会痛 不会痛 No pain, no pain at all.放大的瞳孔 就像作梦Viewed through your enlarged pupils, it is just like a dream.幸福的错觉 The false sense of happiness,很温暖 很包容Is very warm, and very accomodating也许还期待Perhaps you are even looking forward to this.这是致命的冲动 This is a life-destroying impulse.你不懂 我不懂You do not know, nor do I,究竟杀手为什么存在The reason that killers exist.因为爱 还是未知的未来Because love, is an unknown future.心情放松摇摆I feel relaxed,在你三百米之外When I'm more than 300m away from you.数着心跳等待Counting my heartbeat, I wait,所有念头全抛开Discarding all thoughts.锁进来 进来 Locking in, in,这美丽的悲哀This beautiful tragedy.这是爱 就是爱This is love, this must be love,全世界都不明白But of the whole world no one else understands.心情放松摇摆I feel relaxed,在你三百米之外When I'm more than 300m away from you.感觉饥饿难耐I feel an unbearable hunger;需要你填满空白I need you to fill the emptiness in me.锁进来 进来 Locking in, in,这美丽的悲绝对的完美一双手A pair of perfect hands,不流汗也不发抖Neither sweating nor trembling.交叉在微笑的背后Criss-crossed behind a gentle smile,暗藏危险的轮廓Is a hidden, dangerous personna.在你最放松的时候When you are most relaxed,绝不带着任何感情I would, without any feelings,就下手从来不回头Do the deed, never looking back.开始的感觉 In the beginning, you will feel,不会痛 不会痛 No pain, no pain at all.放大的瞳孔 就像作梦Viewed through your enlarged pupils, it is just like a dream.幸福的错觉 The false sense of happiness,很温暖 很包容 Is very warm, and very accomodating也许还期待Perhaps you are even looking forward to this.这是致命的冲动This is a life-destroying impulse.你不懂 我不懂You do not know, nor do I,究竟杀手为什么存在The reason that killers exist.因为爱 还是未知的未来Because love, is an unknown future.心情放松摇摆I feel relaxed,在你三百米之外When I'm more than 300m away from you.数着心跳等待 Counting my heartbeat, I wait,所有念头全抛开Discarding all thoughts.锁进来 进来 Locking in, in,这美丽的悲哀 This beautiful tragedy.这是爱 就是爱This is love, this must be love,全世界都不明白But of the whole world no one else understands.心情放松摇摆I feel relaxed,在你三百米之外When I'm more than 300m away from you.感觉饥饿难耐I feel an unbearable hunger;需要你填满空白I need you to fill the emptiness in me.锁进来 进来 Locking in, in,这美丽的悲哀 This beautiful tragedy.这是爱 就是爱 This is love, this must be love,只有你明白Only you would understand.
This beautiful tragedy.这是爱 就是爱 This is love, this must be love,只有你明白 Only you would understand.

saya mahu saya punnya HP!!!!!!!!!!!

tiada lagi.. sodah.. hapus dari dunia ini.. semua yang saya mahukan sudah.. hapus.. aiyo wondering all around ler.. it's just SO wrong.. blu.. hmmph not fair one..

oh well 'he' is going Sweden foe 2 weeks 'i think' yeh! i'll be free for 2 weeks kakax XD no la not really counted as.. FREE.. hmm.. nvm now want i want is MY PHONE!!!!!!!!!! mampuslah saya...............................

In this farewell,

There's no blood,

Theres no alibi.

Cause I've drawn regret,

From the truth,

Of a thousand lies.

So let mercy come,

And wash away...

What I've Done.

I'll face myself,

To cross out what I've become.

Erase myself,

And let go of what I've done.

Put to rest,

What you thought of me.

While I clean this slate,

With the hands,

Of uncertainty.

So let mercy come,

And wash away...

What I've Done.

I'll face myself,

To cross out what I've become.

Erase myself,

And let go of what I've done.

For What I've Done I start again,

And whatever pain may come.

Today this ends,

I'm forgiving what I've done.

I'll face myself,

To cross out what I've become.

Erase myself,

And let go of what I've done.

What I've done.

Forgiving What I've Done.

cheessxxzzz

seriously.. I want to give up liao leh.. pls let me give up la.. now i always ask my self.. why do i like him leh.. the more i go on staying next to him.. the more i will treat him as my brother.. to just be his friend.. i should diserve more.. to be his sister.. i feel a little lonely.. to be his girl friend.. i think.. =.= no i dea.. haiyo.. then just let me stop la.. i seriously beh tahan this kind of situation ady.. either let me hate you or let me, love you.. >.< argh!!

I still believe

shed our outer beauty what of us is left when we're transparent? love is like a crystal sphere, solid yet fragile
maybe being alone gives you freedom but the feelings of two people are greater than the sky you have happiness as well as sorrow, don't let regret remain
I still believe love can make it through the turmoil tightly hold my hands, one second is enough to not be lonely
I still believe love needs a dream to bring happiness even if our futures lead to different places you'll be in my heart forever
when you're cold, I'll hold you to my chest when your tears fall, I'll be here, I won't go the gentleness that love gives, experience it diligently now I want to be with you, let happiness revolve
I still believe love can make it through the turmoil tightly hold my hands, one minute without loneliness
I still believe that only love with a dream can give us happiness even if our futures lead to different places you and me, everlasting

When there was me and you....

It was a lovely night tonight.. you could only heard rain drops from the sky and happy families having their dinner together.. I was sitting on a lazy chair right outside my very own balcony staring at the beautiful sky raining.. I on my radio player, coincidentally it was playing the song -- Kiss Goodbye by LEE HOM.. it was my favourite song.. This song reminds me of you, from time to time i listen to it.. Now I''m wondering what are you doing, have you eaten your dinner, do you have a fun day but all this came too late..

I stand up and offed my radio.. I walked towards my brand new white acoustic piano in my room.. i sat down.. and open the cover of the piano.. then i started playing my favourite song by the Theme of Ordinary People ---- Canon In D .. It was a lovely song to hear and to play.. This night i played the song gracefully.. very smooth.. very sweet.. larghetto-ly.. after once playing it i repeated it again.. the more i go on playing the song it became more sorrow.. more heavy chords.. the more i go on.. the more image of you appearing from my mind.. For once.. I miss you so much.. wish that you will at least send me a missed call nor a short msg.. but.. there is nothing ringing in my room.. i spam my chords on my piano.. i got fad up thinking of you and you have all the laughter i ever wanted.. i skip the song and persuade to the next book..

I found the score Audrey gave me.. it was Dearest by Ayumi Hamasaki.. I played specially at the chorus part very fast and very loud.. I can't really play as good as Audrey in this time.. but i was shock when i finished the song none stop but not only that.. i also found out i didn't even miss a note..

Soon after i finish playing this song.. my phone rang.. i was so happy.. though it was you i ran towards the side table next to my bed.. i took my phone and answer the call.. unfortunately.. it wasn't you.. the person who is calling is my so called 'boy friend' now.. How i wish the person who is so concern bout me it's you..

In fact I'm a person who needs care.. I use to assume that the person i like will take good care of me.. but it's all wrong.. now that I'm awake.. i know that i can't be like this anymore..

It's funny when you find your self looking from the outside I'm standing here but all i want is to be over there why did i let my self believe miracle could happen cos now i have to pretend that i don't really care i though you were my fairy tale my dream when i not sleeping a wish upon a star that's coming true when there was me and you i swore i knew the melody that i heard you singing and when you smiled you made me feel that i could sing along but then you went and changed the words now my heart is empty I'm only left with used to be and once upon a song now i know you're not a fairy tale and dreams are meant for sleeping and wishes on a star just don't come true because i like the view when there is me and you i can't believe that i could be so blind it's like you were floating while i was falling and i didn't mind i though you felt it too when there was me and you

foul words for the day

Am I the one who is 'trapping' you all the while? you didn't voice out also.. i always ask you things but you didn't answer the actual thing you want to answer the reason -- cause you sacred i get angry.. and you let me found out instate of letting me know then of cause i'm will be more angry right chi bai.. then when we're with others ppl then only you say that you though of like that before.. hello??!!! if you don't say how the hell am i suppose to know idiot!! If it's my fault all the while then i apologise to you.. to me i think that i'm also very bossy at times that's why i always ask for your opinion. but end up you saying ok la ok la then when i got ask the same thing again then you will get angry i also will get angry when you get angry of me when i'm trying to ask for your opinion.. wtf.............

I told you, you can talk to him.. it's your life la bloody hell.. i don't want to make you feel that i'm the one controling your life.. that is why you say you feel free now right!! i'm damn kao happy when you say you don't want our friendship to over just like this.. and now you say you want it to be seperate ways then everything you talk finish la i don't need to speak a word la is iz fuck ass!! chi bai..

I really don't undertsand you lo after the conflic bout 'him' we're fine one wert.. now what?! you freak me out last friday you know.. i wanted to ask Pn Wan Hajimah to change place last friday one.. then this morning..don't need to do until so obvious one la OKAY..sh.... i cry for shit only now you want to go seperate ways right.. fine la then i happy you happy la..by the way i'm transfering also wert sh purposely one is iz chi bai i really don't know,can't even guess what are you thinking the whole damn year did you notice??!!!! you always don't tell me what are you thinking.. and you know i hate ppl knowing my stuff and i don't even know a damn thing bout them right

Ever since Ced death i really know what is 'when you lose something then only you will appreciate it more'.. you really treat me very nice after the conflic bout 'him' i'm damn shock that time.. damn happy.. i also try to treat you the same way you treat me..Now.. sorry.. i regreted by not following your choice..

haihz today i scold alot of ppl but it's not their fault.. i'm sorry la guys i shout at your'll.. >.< but Pn Teh memang sh one la chi bai.. Pn Lee LC =.= stupid kinder garden teacher

sweet memories

I have fun playing 1 on 1 basketball with you eventhough i lose.. just by that 6-7score =.= and i own you a drink pulak . . .
Can't believe I'm smiling all the time when i'm with you..
Why you look at me with that expression..?
I can feel that you like me = ) nvm it's okay if you don't say.. Let it be this way I'm fine just make sure we keep in touch k.. = )Hehe.. i'm happy that you care for me..
= ) thanks.. dear

bye bye bye

I'm doing this tonight You're probably gonna start a fight. I know this can't be right.When you weren't there for me. So now it's time to leave and make it alone I know that I can't take no more It ain't no lie Don't wanna be a fool for you Just another player in your game for two You may hate me but it ain't no lie Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell you that I had enough. It might sound crazy,But it ain't no lie,Just hit me with the truth, Now, girl you're more than welcome to. So give me one good reason, And now I really come to see, That life would be much better once things are done. I know that I can't take no more. I'm giving up I know for sure. I'm checking out I'm signing off Don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough

it's a busy week haha

so busy the whole week wei.. so tired!!

Monday, after school li jane,amelia,audrey and me planned to go cendol but ended up only me and audrey.. worse still me and audrey walk to Tmn Bahagia where the cendol sells then........zha dou it's not open =.= then we go chao yang walk until half way pass by ''back gate down there that field'' saw k.h.......... =.= hmmph.. then we walk to chao ynag and eat Ipoh Hor Fun audrey eat curry mee

Tuesday, after school i got piano class for one hour after that me and audrey went somewhere but i forgotten ady.. har har har... but it's really tired.. i think we went coffee bean.. half way saw Angela and Natt then 4 of us go together >.<

Wednesday, after school hrm.. ''short term memory lose..'' i went sahara around 5pm something saw some ppl there then walk closer and closer and closer.. it's SCOUTS!!!! =.= zha dou.. plus i'm alone that time.. stupid Chee Ken don't concentrate on marching trying to guess who is sitting alone over there haha then we went some where again.. oh ya i think we went teaport cafe then audrey let me see that thing up there.. stupid lamb chop make me stomach ache then after that i can't play basketball........when we reach sahara scouts haven practice finish then we slowly talk talk chat chat.. haha then when scouts finish k.h and k.s came.. kakax luckily o.0

Thursday, violin class again haha then i forgot what happen again.. haha soli oh

Friday, it's SPORTS DAY!!!!!!! haha went to school around 06:45AM haha have to set up every thing bout P.A. then make sure can listen everything is done perfectly haha.. then.. sports day start loo lazy to type arr!! just came back from school after librarian install.. so freakingly tired..... okay okay then.... start lo.. erm skip skip skip then lunch time.. that pic up there is me and charlene in library eating nasi lemak belanjed by Pn Foo haha delicious.. actually if you are hungry then everything is delicious of cause something that can be eatten is delicious la XD.. =.='' oh ya after that i went R&R they started the competition ady then.. no first me, audrey, and angela went 3Mawar kin hei, yu ming,darren, wei shiong, and few more guys were playing pokemon card haha then we on song and everything when they start inthe school that time we 3 girls faster rush down haha.. saw most of the kadet polis near R&R then Nasri asked to take a photo with me but ended up.. that pic Poh Pui help me take she purposely take only me and randall... zha dou...... ok ok then i gave ''him'' the necklace kekex it's a him and her.. don't know he like it anot haha

Saturday, 9:45 to 11am piano class in DJ then 2-5pm librarians install 5-11pm 5:30-6pm violin class in OU..librarians bbq night hahaha this is the few pics i took during the bbq, disco lights in library haha funNYA!! lots of things happen but too lazy to write.. mom scolding ady haha ciaoz

>.<>

oh i'm S0 dead..

0o0oo0o0o0o who live in the pineapple under the sea..... sponge bob square pants.. lalalala lalalalalala ......... don't know how to sing don't sing la..! what..??!! there is alot of lala living under the sea also wert... =.= actually i forgot the lyrics.. XD thick face!!!!!!! hahaha

inci bitci spider clamming up the wall.... down came Audrey and wash the spider off... poor thing the spider isn't strong at all... haih... bad Audrey bad Audrey... ahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahaha

damn sarcastic la this idiot... =.= look who's talking

okay okay okay i'm bored alone at home.. okay lets talk bout today..
well i just came back from PASAR MALAM it's the latest nigth where i came WALK back ALONE.. from chao yang to SS2/28 uh huh.. then i also spend quite a lot of $$$$$ =.= thx to my sister.. buy this, buy that, and this.. and this and that.. that that.. buy wrong ady.. if she scold me then i'm going to kill her!!!!! bluek haha she's in tuition now!! har har har

do you what.. some time you can just ignore what i say on my blog.. don't give a damn i don't mind.. >.<

oh no..no.. no.. no..

oh no.. he is coming back to me again.. diaoz >.< I not going to care of him anymore hah i'm not the old me anymore hahaha you can't trap meeeee.. hahaha xp

Well it's too bored.. i wanna go out ne.. hrm..
oh ya i brought something for someone it's A PAIR of necklace.. a couple thing.. and i don't think he will like it.. will he?keke i don't know..=.=

things come by and it go.. haha

There goes our friendship just because of a guy..again

This morning.. me and someone had just un-misunderstand each other.. then everything was fine as usuall.. just until tuition time..

Haih as I was saying everything went down the drain after I read her hp msg..
1st of all.. during Kapas camp I SORT OF have a MINOR crush on this ‘new guy’ we newly know in camp.. well during the camp we ---- 3 of us kinda like buddy buddy.. so like i say.. I SORT OF have a MINOR crush on him.. on my point of view Xue didn’t really tell me how she feel bout the ‘new guy’ but I my self told her almost everything.. now I know that is kinda foolish when I’m telling her everything and she is not.. it’s like she doesn’t want anybody to know bout her.. to tell you honestly, I don’t like that..

Today 25th Jun 07
I read her msg.. *perposely* cause she is not telling me anything.. then I didn’t know that the whole msg area is full of his msg and I didn’t realise how close are they until I read the 1st few msg.. -.- that time I was like --- o-k-a-y.. that’s.. a.. little.. shockenning.. after that Rynn helped her, Rynn took my hp and started msg-ing Jian.. -.- at first I didn’t give a damn after that when I read further into Xue’s msg-es I got a little pist off.. then Rynn tell me that she is actually just msg-ing some nonsense to Jian.. why am I so worried.. *things and things..* so after that I beh tahan I took Xue’s hp into the shore room *so called the toilet >.< don’t worry your hp is clean 100%* haih.. I got no idea that they went so far ady and I didn’t know that she will not tell me..
Worse thing is.. the ‘new guy’.. he.. haih don’t know how to say.. he call me to tell everything to him and not tell what I have tell him to Xue.. so I say okay I tell *to let him understand my situation and he will tell me his situation..* oh well ended up I’m the only one telling him mine and he say he is too ‘fan’ to say it now.. but things as well ended up.. they talking happily and I’m the one who don’t know anything.. come on man..

I'm not angry of you cause you talked to him so much it's you i'm angry with.. didn't you realise that you didn't tell me anything bout your'll when i' talking bout him??? =.= you appologised *i forgive and..forget haha but i didn't tell her.. >.<* and say you won't talk to him anymore just bacause you don't want to lose this friendship.. in another hand you are losing his friendship also wert..=.= i don't mind your'll talking.. just at least let me know that your'll are that close and you are talking to him.. i would be happy if your'll are together too.. haha *i can guess that he is liking you dude Ahahahahahahahaha YOU ARE DEAD!!* well things come by nicely at least she appologise with not i'm planning to live my life and there goes our friendship but.. i realise that i can't be my self without her so does she.. and i can't always run away from problems like this.. no point right.. so haha conclusion we are done!!! ahahahahahahahaha... =.= someone is insane....... look who's talking...

All the sweet memories had became sour since the day we broke up..

I accidently click enter then sent the post ady.. haven even type anything wei.. =.=
hrm.. I still remember last year after we break up..

YB Chiu Mei Fun having the concert Irama in one of the Subang chinese primary school.. I think that is not long after we break up.. after the concert ends.. I walked past your scouts table that time your'll whole bunch having lunch.. You smile at me.. I smiled back.. but... why? after that you didn't really smile at me when i smile at you ady.. why leh..? haihz.. before we get together, we always play together.. make fun of each other.. wacking each other = ).. all the sweet momeries had become sour.. but why.. why our friendship become like that one....??? why can't we be friends? what happen to us..? haihz.. i know it might be hard for you.. but.. it been a long time since we break up.. i felt sorry too.. i don't know how to start all over again.. heard you sacred i'm playing.. but to tell you the truth i'm not this time.. i'll make sure of my feelings then i'll settle down with you.. but you gave me the sorry look... it's okay.. it's my fault at first.. and now i regreted.. thx to the so call b**** .. but at the end it's still my decision to break up.. so it's still my fault.. I really regret.. I always ask my self Why did i want us to be together..? why did i start it first..? haihz.. We really had lots of fun last year 2 KEMBOJA 2006 rox to the max.. At my point of view after we break up the feeling from you to me it's totally like - - I know you one meh.. ... haihz.. i really want back our friendship feelings.. what can i do until we can get back to the olden we?

I just remembered...

I just remembered...

If what i say you doesn't want to believe..then it's fine..i'll leave you silently..

how i hope this decision will pull us nearer.. -.-

Dining table
Min : how are ya? heard you fell sick..
Jul : oh.. i'm fine = ) soon we are going together back to Switz.. wanna come?
Min : then why did you need Sean and Luke back there? no thanks you knew i'm having all kinds of exams this few months..
Jul : oh cause i miss them? excuses..
Min : what?!!
Jul : yeah.. why not?
Min : are you crazy?? and you leave them till this week?then why did you came back with them?
Jul : check out some stuff here.. like you = ) i can guess that Sean likes you but i wont't ever give up!! = )
Min : ... i have rejected him so you will have your chance..
Jul : no i don't want it easily.. = ) no revenge.. not challenging at all.. = )
Min : challenge? revenge?
Jul : you are the cause why Cedric is gone!! you are the reason why he drive to Penang.. you are the reason!! it's your fault!!
Min : ... i can't say it's not my fault but.. it's still a accident.....
Jul : cause of you!! if not of you Dric won't cross the damn road.. cause of you....
Min : yes!! is cause of me it's all my fault so what.. even i regreted but i can't change the past.. now you want revenge??!! due to Sean??!! use him to hurt me??!! i'm so sorry i have spoilt your plan..it wouldn't work!!
Jul : i have secrets on hand heard you having some feelings in school.. = ) I'll show you whats revenge..!!!
Min : don't you even dare!!
Jul : you might not know = )
Min : (bitch) *kept it in my heart i don't want to hurt you..*
Pat : hey what are your'll talking about?? so secretive?
Jul : oh.. Min and I having some dicussion on Sean and Luke's up coming b'day party.. = )
Pat : but.. won't Min be...
Min : it's okay = ) ... we can't just don't celebrate the guys b'day because of Cedric.. = )
Jul : = ) of cause..
Pat : oh.. okay.. is there anything i can help?
Jul : it's okay i ady have a plan = ) we are doing a next to a pool party in Sean's house = )
Min : *you knew i can't swim...*
Pat : but.. Min
Jul : oh she don't mind.. don't you.. = )
Min : yeah.......
Pat : okay that great = )

In the garden
Sean : so what your girls talking bout in the hall? someone rise her voice i think..
Min : oh nothing much.. = ) we three girls have a fun time chatting.. = ) *very fake smile*
Sean : oh.. so are you moving with your family?
Min : i have to but i'll just be in home at night and weekends cause i have no transport after school..
Sean : i can drive = )
Min : it's okay you have to keep up in your studies so do i..
Sean : okay..
Sean : can i asked a question..?
Min : = ) go a head.......*oh nooooooo.....*
Sean : still... can't accept me..?
Min : you know.. i'm having a hard time..and *he break my words*
Sean : i understand.. I'll just stay by your side..remember I'll be there 24/7 just for you = )
Min : thanks alot = )
Sean : need help in studies?
Min : it's okay.. i just need to walk over next door to look for you if there's a question right.. = )
Sean : yeah = ) hopefully next month you will be in the house.. = )
Min : = ) *a very sour.. i didn't want to leave where m i now...*

After the whole thing i cried.. and cried.. that night i looked for my brother to chatt with but i fell as sleep half way the conversation.. crying eyes can fell as slepp easily kor.. sorry..haihz.. Jul.. what can i do??? i'm tired with the feeling to the ppl school.. my best friend are having some problem with me.. i'm leaving all my brother.. aiyoooo.. i get fad up with all my music teachers.. even my parents.. they are pressuring me..i'm ady practising my music every day at least 1 and a half hour.. and your'll want more.. damn.. teach me!!! teach me how, what should i do to make all of your'll sactifice??!!!! too tired to continue.. but it's my life.. i can't give up... due to my friends, my brothers..(K) i'm giving up on him.. i don want to make the 1st move anymore... (A) whateva you want to say i don't give a damn anymore.. you want to believe don't want also nvm.. i don't care anymore.. ... it's hard o live a simple life...

it's a boring day..............

Whole week also so boring nothing to do one.. -.- sleep in class only better still don't go to school..whole day doing nothing in class last period stupid Yee Seng and Andrew talking bout porn over there infront of Audrey, Amelia, Li Jane and me.. -.- nothing to do too boring ady.. then Andrew WATCHING porn with his hp -.- really ar too free ady.. whole bunch over there talking craps.. laugh until stomach pain XD

After Kapas camp.. i found out some one really change alot.. Even i change alot too.. haihz.. well we don't really talk ady.. -.- there goes our friendship.. i read his msg.. 'how should i believe you' hrm.. on what??? have i tell a lie??!!! to you? i don't think so.. why should i??!! it's nothing nice to lie about wert..

Yier.. some body haven tell me some thing important.. well i might be leaving.. which i don't want to.. but it's not my turn to speak out..YET.. now.. erm i hope he does appreciate the moments we have now.. cause.. no time ady..kua.. but if he doesn't..then too bad lo..nvm then can't force him also one.. anyway..it's up to him la..but i know there is a feeling there one..he just don't want to say only.. stupid have to meet Pn Phua privately.. freaky wei.. T.T can i choose to not leave? yier.. lose trust in friends, lose friends in school, lose time to hang out, lose places to go.. next?? lose candy to eat!!!!! ahahahahahahahaha -.-

problems problems and more problems....

wtfish.. don't know la.. alot things in my mind i just can't think where to start . . .
okay there goes nothing.. I don't know is jealousy or just hate but how i hope it's not hate...shoot man.. How can i face it now aiyo.. damn.. alot of things happening wei.. can't handle going crazy ady laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
k.m for goodness sick pls la PLS leave me alone with not i really going to shoot you down the drain.. diaozz
damn so many things i can't let it out wei.. nvm nvm chill chill chill... tmr i can know the whole thing.. chill~~~~~

hrm.. lets see..

stupid kar sing do those mo liu things.. hah but it didn't work!! tai sei tai sei!!!!! hahaha explain liao loo.. luckily they understand.. >.<>

i'm bored.. saturday.. it's a boring day..

glupp.. later got piano trial exam sei lo.. don't know how leh.. can't play la..
deng then what m i still doing here.. swtness *practising piano*

I have an idea.... = )

Eventhough I like you but there a kind of love who called '' Just to stay by your side and have back the normal life with you..'' I won't request for anything.. I don't want you to do anything else or extra for me.. Just let me stay by your side just next you.. Let me have the chance to talk to you.. Let things still be normal.. Don't let this relationship gone.. I understand.. I'm a sister to you, you don't wan to lose a sister I also don't want to lose a brother like you.. So I guess you just wan to let it be like this.. but if we don't contact each other offen.. I sacred... I won't open my world to you anymore.. And I don't want it to be like this.. I have fun time spending with you.. I admit I'm the one who is making the first move.. And I don't like it.. Told my self let it be like this when you want or need me you will come to me naturally.. But how long you want me to wait? I have no patience..

I asked for help from one of friend.. but i can hear that you don't really like it.. What can I do? My other brothers are not so close to me anymore.. I need to releast all this feelings.. I need to tell someone with not I'll collapese and when i collapese.... I really don't know what I will do.. Heard.. you very clever to hide your feelings.. You told me not to take your words so serious.. from now on I won't take it serious.. from now on I won't msg you unless you msg here then I'll reply.. if it's really important then only I'll msg you.. This time I must do it!!!

Ee Min is lose....

I don't know what to do now.. I'm totally lose.. Why? Why you don't want to tell me? At least tell me how you feel pls..? I got no safetyness with your feelings cause I don't know what are you thinking I don't know how you feel cause you never tell.. I sacred I lose feeling on you or give up cause waited too long, too tired i sacred after when you admit I ady change.. Pls.. don't let me to be like this can? I can't take it anymore.. I really feel like letting my self drown during Kapas camp.. but I know you won't like it.. When I heard that Mei Wan get bitten by -centipit- I was hoping that it was me who is the one who kena.. when she also kena from the -sea rambutans- i also wish it was me...
I want to let me tears drop.. I don't want to tahan cause I know if I keep tahaning it one day when I fall I sacred I can't control.. and my piano trial exam is this sunday i sacred on the spot i can't play then tears will drop that time I will just cry everything out I bet it will be a long cry.. I don't want it to happen cause when I'm taking grade 4 trial, I fight with my best friend on hp in the trial room i felt so sorry so sad then suddently it's my turn.. I can't play then i ended up crying.. everyone was looking at me.. teachers thought that i cried cause I can't play but.. thats not true... This time I don't it to be like this.. Pls.. let my tears drop before this sunday or just tell me something which is true from you.. I don't want to fall.. cause when I fall I will think of someone who leaved me behind...
I learn something from this taiwan drama show.. sometimes if you love or like one person doesn't mean that you must have him/her by your side all the time nor be with him/her.. just let it be natural like how close your'll are last time..
I'm tired.. tired of being the one who always do the first move.. I say to my self before let ppl to come to you don't push your self to him/her.. but i can't help it cause.. it's like if one day didn't get to talk to you i'll feel.. weird.. moody.. I also don't want to let you control my mood.. I tried my best to be happy when you are not in.. but.. I just can't help it.. Kor has gone to out station.. I don't think he came back ady.. even if he came back i still can't really link back to him... At last I found someone who I can talk to.. secrets.. = ) I think if with out him I really can.. kaa---booomm.. thank you = ) I hope either just let it go on like this or... I also don't know what to do... haihz

Me & Pulau Kapas

I really enjoy and have a good time in Pulau Kapas.. I regret by not doing things I want to do through out the whole camp in Pulau Kapas.. I regret by not saying the words I want to say to the person I want to.. I regret by not appreciating the time we have there.. I regret I didn't do the best in every activies they organise.. I regret by letting teacher down.. I wish there is no boat for us to come back to Marang jeti.. >.<> The theory i learn from my self is.. Do whateva thing you feel like doing or saying or feel while there is still a chance for you, with not it will be too late when you regret..

2nd, 6th June, 2007

I think we woke up around 8:30 or 7:30am.. forget liao loo~ Okay this is what we do the whole day.. breakfast we cook our self not our self, our self.. we cook the food our self XD then after cleaning the 1st game groupand the 3rd game group will go for cannoeing first then while this 2 group is out for cannoeing the others group play sand castle.. XD okies.. i 1stly partner with Sim Wuei then Sir change to Jerrad XD nvm I have fun time with him specially when the speed boat pass by XP syokNYA!! 1! 2! 1! 1! 2! 1! turn left~~ turn right~~ paddle!! o.0 reach the open sea ady.. XD one word ------ beautiful!! haha okay everyone gather next to Sir.. oh such a nice scenery.. okay now Sir call Shawna down the cannoe.. oh oh not good I.... don't know how to swim!!! hahaha nvm la got life jacket XD thx to Jerrad also he call Sir to let me down... haha nvm i have fun just that u can't climb back into the cannoe cause arm no strengh and mental strengh is not there haihz such a failure right.. haha Sir helped me to climb on the cannoe end up i accidently kick his tummy hahaha sorry Sir! XP haha luckily he didn't scold kakax.. okies then slowly call some to come down then climb in after that we paddle to the rocks side then paddle back for fun again XD Jerrad and me racing with Ze Xiang and Sim Wuei see who reach the rocks and the shore first haha so fun but of cause you arm will be tired la XD but it's worth the hapiness of it = ) okay it's the next 2 groups turn to go cannoeing.. we pull back the cannoe on the shore then play water for ahile then went back to the camp side and start building sand castle XD guess what's my groups sand castle name... XP something gotta do with red idians or black idians something idians one la haha so funny don't know teacher got take pic anot XD Xiang keep playing with sand make until my shirt so dirty of cause.. sand fight!!! Xiang you are so dead!!! hahaha after building everything is done.... plush back into the water!! until everyone came back then play for awhile sun set liao go take bath start to cook dinner loo~ my group don't really have the 'trathegy' there.. we don't agree in one thing together.. end up kelam-kabut everything..nvm at least we still have our dinner nicely haha